Are You Kidding Me?
Here I sit, seat 22C on a Delta flight, traveling from Minneapolis to Phoenix.  Been on board now for an hour and still on the ground and I’m traveling with the Griswold’s seated right behind me.  That’s right, the fricking Griswold’s.  Young parents with a 2 year old boy and a 1 year old girl.  Hey lady, can you please stop your baby from grabbing my arm between the seats with her wet, disease infested, grubby hands?  Oh, and while you’re at it could you please ask your husband to stop your older kid from dropping the food tray repeatedly over and over and over and over and over again to where it makes our whole row of 3 seats banging more than the old wooden screen door on the back porch?  Good God people, did your parents never paddle your asses when you were acting out?  Obviously not.

Yes, we are finally taxiing and maybe now the two little juniors will be strapped in and constrained……. nope, no such luck.  We’re on an active taxi way moving, I look over and who’s standing in the aisle holding onto my arm rest looking up at me making this “hey Mr. I’m hungry sound,”  yep, none other than the 1 year old.  Are you f*ck#ng kidding me?  Yes sir, I’m just out for a stroll while the plane is taxiing.  Now we’re on the de-icing pad for the second time and it’s bastardly hot on the plane as the sweat is starting to bead up on my forehead.  And junior# 2, the two year old has been asking dad, “hey dad, are we flying now,  Are we flying now, Are we flying now?”  Seriously kid, look out the window, I’m almost sure that guy right outside your window, de-icing the plane does not have a set of wing.  “Hey dad, are we in Phoenix yet?”  The response in my head that was about to burst out was, “kid, shut the hell up, we have not left the ground, been completely motionless at the de-icing pad, what part of this journey other than your pea sized brain would indicate that were in Phoenix yet?  Good God, this kid is wearing my patience thin and he’s kicking my ass all over the tube of this aircraft.

I know there are a lot of you out there right now saying (out loud), you insensitive, un-compassionate, prick.  We’re two loving parents in our early twenties (I stress Millenniums) just doing or best, trying to get out two little kids to Phoenix to see their grandparents.  Let me share with you the standards we applied to our kids while flying the friendly skies.  I used to fly all the time when I was in my 20’s and 30’s with two little kids and they were well behaved all the time.  They did not wander up and down the aisle of a taxiing aircraft nor did they bother the passengers around us.  Strapped in tighter than a pilot and gag order applied at all times.  I guess parents today just don’t really care too much about how their kids act in public.  Or better yet, maybe the parents themselves haven’t grown up enough to be parents.  It comes down to a level of respect, discipline, and character.  If you don’t respect the people around you nor have any character of who you are you won’t have the discipline to discipline your own child.

I so look forward to my next trip to see what kind of material today’s millenniums are gonna provide for me.


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