Male bonding – the formation of close personal relationships, and patterns of friendship or cooperation between males.
Bromance – close, emotionally intense, non-sexual bond between two (or more) men. It is an exceptionally tight affectional, homosocial male bonding relationship that exceeds that of usual friendship, that is distinguished by a particularly high level of emotional intimacy.
Are you with me on this one? Can anyone relate? Is there a difference between male bonding and bromance? The answer is – NO. And is this a good thing or bad? Healthy or not? How many of you out there have experienced either?
If you have ever heard the term, “he sure is a mans, man” and you know what that term means, then you will surely understand male bonding and bromance all at the same time. If you have not, then let me explain. A man’s man is someone who can relate to who they are, they spend quality time with other men and prefer to dedicate that time to their male counterparts.
Women, you are taking a second seat on this one. If you are with or have married a “man’s man” then you know what I mean. It’s not that you are any less important or that he does not love you any less, it simply means you need to know and understand the relationship you are in or you’ll find yourself kicked to the curb, and on the outside looking in.
So, what is it that drives this behavior? And as asked before, is it a good thing or a bad thing? Healthy or not? In order to answer that, it depends solely on who you are. The fact that you are a “mans, man” does not change. So if it exists, it exists and you MUST deal with it. What changes is the rest of or the balance of your relationship. Does the lifestyle of male bonding fit your everyday life? Is your wife and kids understanding or at a minimum if there are no kids, is your wife onboard?
The unhealthy or even bad aspect of the relationship of a man’s man is if you suppress the known. If you are a man’s, man and you become that, “yes dear” guy, you are doomed for life. The yearning for male companionship and the constant response of, “yes dear” will drive you fucking nuts. For the first 12 years of my first marriage, I had the yearning for the male bonding and to do “guy stuff” but I was in a situation where I could not foster that relationship. In the last 6 years of that relationship, I realized I could no longer be that, “yes dear” guy. What did that create? Resentment, plain and simple. Every time I was grilling steaks, drinking whiskey and playing cribbage with one of my male friends at 10 p.m. at night, it was an issue. Even though that was only about 5 times a month, the other 26 days (and nights) that were hers just wasn’t enough.
This is the baggage I carry. Enter, the “new wife.” Do I negate her? No. Do I miss-treat her? No. Do I spoil her? Yes. Is she treated with respect? Yes. So what’s the difference? I can be a man’s man and it is never an issue.
On closing I will add these comment: male bonding or male bromance is NOT a gay thing by any stretch of ANY imagination. If you equate this to being gay, you’re not only ignorant but uneducated as well. The best example I can provide to you about having male bonding is Marion Morrison. Do you recognize that name? How about the name, “John Wayne?” Born Marion Morrison, turned Hollywood actor, John Wayne was a “man’s man” and didn’t try to hide or change it at all. If you doubt this at all, read the following:
That’s right, Marion Morrison was John Wayne, or as we knew him, “The Duke”. He was without a doubt, “A Man’s, Man.”